Making cents of those New Years Diets

The post-Saturnalia excesses and Holiday good cheer soon to fade into another year of snapshots and warm memories (one hopes), the next season quickly approaches.
I speak of the Diet Season, ushered in by the snug-waistbanded New Year's Resolution to Lose Weight before Summer, dammit!! Whether disguised as a pious vow of "Healthy Eating" or an ill-advised goal to lose 50lb in the next 3 months - January is the Season of the Diet.

This is the busy season for Gyms and Health Clubs, everybody has a book to sell or a program with a great incentive to join. And the countless "medical" weight loss clinics overflow with the hopeful.
So many different plans and so many different "scientific" explanations for why each diet plan works and is better than all the others.

Some claim to burn your fat off selectively, or more efficiently, or while you sleep, or if you eat certain food combinations, or if you take certain supplements...etc.
Others claim to suppress your appetite or provide a feeling of fullness or satisfaction without calories being consumed, again via some product they can provide.
Some have written books to explain how certain foods "make you fat" and should be avoided, or certain food combinations will burn fat faster, increase your metabolism, suppress your appetite, improve your energy, cure cancer, etc.

Red Flags of Quackery from Sci-ence.org

There is even a book out there that claims to hold the secret to calling grey aliens who will come and insert probes while you sleep and abduct only your fat! (I hope to find a publisher soon)
The secret of all these products is to make nutrition, and how the body processes food seem so mysterious and complex that your simple mind will need someone (them) to explain it to you - and to sell you the secret key to weight loss.

So over the next few blog posts, I intend to offer some actual information on how your body works - processes, stores, burns, and eliminates, as well as links to some good (and free) sources of reliable information.
Fair warning - the tl;dr is going to be unexciting and decidedly Not New. Burn more than you eat.